The Ego if left unchecked will create an insatiable need for control.
The more you lack inner mastery the more the Ego will try to control outside people, events and circumstances in a desperate attempt to feel it has some kind of control.
An extreme example of this is a person with OCD. People with OCD will often subconsciously feel that they have little to no control over themselves. And in order to compensate for this lack of inner control, they will use compulsive behaviors they control (even though they always end up losing control because failure to perform such behaviors will cause a great deal of stress).
Of course most people don’t have OCD. However, many people do subconsciously believe they posses very little control over their thoughts, emotions and the things that happen to them in their life.
And in a very similar way they try to control the outside matrix in an attempt to compensate for the lack of inner control they subconsciously feel they have.
How Control Affects Your Relationships
If you’ve ever had the thought that your spouse or ex-spouse, partner, mother, child, co-worker, client or friend “Should or shouldn’t be doing something, saying something, behaving in a particular way or thinking a certain way.” then you have effectively participated in the illusion that you know what’s better for them 🙂
Let’s take for example a very common thought: “My mother should understand me.”
If I believe this thought, I will feel sad and lonely. It’s not my mother’s business to understand me, that’s my business. It’s something I should give myself and not ask of others. The very least I should do is seek to understand her first before demanding she does something I haven’t done for her.
If you take a close look at the beliefs you have about other people, more often than not, those beliefs will reveal what YOU need to work on, what you need to give yourself or what you need to do in your own life.
However, the Ego’s self-righteousness and lack of inner control will always try to make it about them. And the Ego will blame the other person for how you feel (stressed, sad, angry, fearful, misunderstood, etc.)
Only when you can question your beliefs about the other person, take FULL responsibility for how you feel and stay in your business, then you’ll start to see reality as it truly is.
So by letting go of the need to control others and the world at large, you actually gain more control over yourself. It’s a beautiful and powerful paradox.
In this state you can easily differentiate (accept and even love) what things you can and can’t control. The resulting state is one of inner mastery, surrender and peace.
This alone will radically transform your relationships. And this is without anyone else changing, only YOU change. No one but you changes and yet everyone changes because the new you sees them, feels them and experiences them in a very different way!
Energy Blockages That Trigger You
There are certain energy blockages that play into this dynamic of control, pain and suffering.
Soul Fragments – during traumatic events we can fracture off a part of our soul and energize that soul fragment with emotions, thoughts and attitudes. These soul fragments are polarized and create a stagnant form of energy in our auric field.
This energy then remains in this stagnant form until we can process it or transmute it. If we fail to do so, the energy will continue to get triggered and drama-tized by us.
For example, if when you were a kid you experienced abuse, you might have felt like you had little to no control over what was happening. This feeling of not having control can be stored in a soul fragment and that energy keeps magnetizing you to people, places, times, things and events that resonate with the energy “I have no control.” Causing you to re-live this experience until you can heal it.
Karma – Karmic imprints are created when we use our free will in a way that is not aligned with Source’s Will. For example, we can choose fear instead of the Universal Law of Oneness or we can choose hatred instead of Unconditional Love.
Anytime we go against Source Will we create a karmic imprint as a reminder that we must go back into alignment with Source later on (karma is not a punishment).
Karmic imprints related to control will keep you in a karmic loop where you’ll keep attracting people, places, times, things and events that mirror your lack of control or need for control.
Using the childhood abuse example from above. If in that moment the child creates an attitude/belief like “I have no control.” then this belief and the karmic imprint it creates will color that child’s life. And beliefs usually are polarized, so the person will struggle with “I have no control.” and “I must have control.”
Cords of attachment – these energy structures connect you to other people. Cords of attachment contain the unresolved energy from the trauma or pain you experienced with the other person. They also contain thoughts you had at the moment when you created these cords. These are the unconscious thoughts that keep coming up and causing you to constantly energize them with the other person.
Clear Blockages Related to Control
By connecting to my Higher Self and transmuting energetic blockages I can help you eliminate the source of the triggers that cause you to struggle with control issues and prevent you from surrendering to your Higher Self and love what is.
On January 18th at 8pm EST I will be hosting the Healing Control and Surrendering To What IS Live Webinar.
In this webinar I will help you clear layers and layers of soul fragments, karmic imprints, cords of attachments and other energetic blockages related to the Ego’s need for control.
This means letting go of the need to control other people and the world at large.
This will increase the amount of energy and focus you have to control the things you can actually control and change your reality for the better.
Looking forward to having you on the webinar!
Gustavo Castañer
